The Sacred Turtle

Before leaving Canada, I was studying  The Medicine Path which is the Ojibwa Seven Grandfather teaching and it includes Humility, Caring, Kindness, Respect, Love, Strength and Humbleness.

One had to be committed for a year and be willing to come to the reservation once a month for teaching which also included a native sweat.  It was an honor to be part of these teaching and I now better understand the foundation it created for me for my travels.

After six months into the teaching, I advised the Elder and the rest of the group my plan to leave for India.  To my surprise, he was so happy for me and said ” Spirit has called you and you are ready for this request”. He suddenly gets up and brings back this beautiful ancient turtle that is made out of brass and looks Tibetan.  He said a women had brought this turtle to the village a long time ago and it now wanted to go back home.  He gave it to me to bring it back.

Although I was honoured, I felt this sense of responsibility and wondered how I would know were it belonged.  He told me to trust yourself, it will be shown, sound familiar???  It felt more to me like a sequel to Lord of the Ring!!

When I first started travelling, I walked with intention to make sure  I didn’t miss the signs.  This of course didn’t work, I found myself in my head all the time.  I knew I had to trust and just let it go.

So I asked Spirit to help me, to strengthen my intuition so when I arrive in the right place I could feel it deep in my heart.  Give me a sign that is so visible that Awakens in me the turtle energy which would be a reminder of my mission.  With this intent, I trusted and let it go completely and moved on with my journey through India.

Four months later, I arrive in Dharmalaya and saw the a labyrinth, it was something familiar and brought me back home and although I felt turtle energy, I didn’t make the connection yet.  The next day when I saw the  labyrinth, the energy was much stronger and during the tour of the grounds, the turtle energy was so strong and suddenly I remembered and made the connection, I heard the turtle speak to me “I am home”.

I couldn’t ignore the energy and when the tour was completed, I asked Mark about the  labyrinth, how it came about and what turtle met to him.   From his respond, I knew I had found the place and shared the story of the turtle and gave them the gift.  It was an emotional moment for both, the honour to receive this beautiful gift and for me the ultimate trust in myself that I would find the sacred ppace.

That very day, in fact only a few hours after, the workers started to take the old labyrinth apart.  Mark and I both felt this was a sign that something new wanted to be created.  We were going into one week silent retreat and I felt in this time, the energy would show me what it now needed to honour the new energy.  As I figured, during this time, I had an image and saw a labyrinth shaped into a turtle which made perfect sense.  I started making the drawing and what came out was this beautiful new path we created.

A few of us came

together and recreated this beautiful turtle labyrinth

        

 The Sacred Turtle is now on a mentor

In Memory of Peter Cole, a friend, mentor and loved Elder

During this time, a close friend and one I considered an Elder passed, I dedicate these teaching, this mystical journey and the Turtle energy to Peter, he was a loved man by many.  We sat many times by the sacred turtle fire in his lodge sharing stories but most off all I received many teachings.

I found the following information on both the labyrinth and the turtle and hope it speaks to you.  A labyrinth is the inner path to the heart, the most sacred place within yourself were truth will be revealed.

             

“Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.”
Caroline Adams

We are all on the path… exactly where we need to be.

The labyrinth is a model of that path. 

A labyrinth is an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It combines the imagery of the circle and the spiral into a meandering but purposeful path. The Labyrinth represents a journey to our own center and back again out into the world. Labyrinths have long been used as meditation and prayer tools.

A labyrinth is an archetype with which we can have a direct experience. We can walk it. It is a metaphor for life’s journey. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space and place and takes us out of our ego to “That Which Is Within.”

Labyrinths and mazes have often been confused. When most people hear of a labyrinth they think of a maze. A labyrinth is not a maze. A maze is like a puzzle to be solved. It has twists, turns, and blind alleys. It is a left brain task that requires logical, sequential, analytical activity to find the correct path into the maze and out.

A labyrinth has only one path. It is unicursal. The way in is the way out. There are no blind alleys. The path leads you on a circuitous path to the center and out again.

The Hopi say “In his heart man felt the good of life, its sincere purpose. He was of One Heart. But there were those who permitted evil feelings to enter. They were said to be of Two Hearts.” Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.

— Chief Seattle

A labyrinth is a right brain task. It involves intuition, creativity, and imagery. With a maze many choices must be made and an active mind is needed to solve the problem of finding the center. With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. A more passive, receptive mindset is needed. The choice is whether or not to walk a spiritual path.

At its most basic level the labyrinth is a metaphor for the journey to the center of your deepest self and back out into the world with a broadened understanding of who you are

The masculine is sovereignty, the crown upon your soul. Felinity is humility and unconditional love, the heart within the breast of your soul and together they make the whole soul essence.
— St Germain: Twin Souls & Soulmates

Turtle Energy

Turtle Spirit Animal
The turtle totem wisdom teaches us about walking our path in peace and sticking to it with determination and serenity. Slow moving on earth, yet also incredibly fast and agile in water, those who have the turtle as totem or spirit animal may be encouraged to take a break in their busy lives and look around or within themselves for more grounded, long-lasting solutions. Traditionally, the turtle is symbolic of the way of peace, whether it’s inviting us to cultivate peace of mind or a peaceful relationship with our environment.

• Symbol of the world, of the Earth Ability to stay grounded, even in moments of disturbances and chaos
• Slowing down, pacing yourself
• Determination, persistence
• Emotional strength and understanding
• Ancient wisdom

The turtle is also linked to the spirit of the water and the fluid nature of emotions.

Turtle totem teachings for walking your path

The turtle totem symbolizes our peaceful walk on this earth. It represents the path we take as we embark on our journey through life.  In contrast to emotional or spiritual development occurring in bursts, the way of the turtle anchors our personal unfolding in a slow, more grounded series of steps and longer cycles of transformation.

Call this spirit animal for help when you need more grounding. You can also get help slowing down and pacing yourself, so you can take your next step with more confidence.

The Turtle has a shell protecting the softest part,  just like the heart.  

A couple months later, I received a forwarded email from someone that walked the labyrinth and received profound healing.  I was touched by the email and so happy to hear it was a useful tool, although not surprised for it was created with such love and wonderful intention.

He wanted to know more about the mandala with the turtle, the spiral path leading to the heart center that was deeply moving to walk on.  He wanted to know the story behind its creation, so this is how the above story came together.  I knew it would resonate with him and hope it will with you as well.

I was grateful for the opportunity to reflect the mystical journey I was on and a wonderful reminder of the ultimate gift of trusting myself.

The Gift from Nepal

 

In order to bring completion, I had to let go of certain experiences and sharing it is the best way.  This blog is more personal, sharing from our heart leaves us more vulnerable but that is the place to be if you want to heal and change your life.

Thank you for listening!

 ♥

It is impossible to determine or label one particular thing, for my journey evolved over time.  One thing is for sure, we can’t avoid immortality, it’s part of life and a process we will eventually all go through.  The question is when? I am no different and cannot escape this mystery that leaves us all questioning. This is especially true when we lose someone close or may have experienced a near “death” that leaves you realizing how fragile life truly is.

Being in Nepal during the earthquake shook me up and for the first time, I was scared for my own life.  The thought of losing my family and not seeing them again brought much sadness.  I witnessed things that left me numb, scared, confused, angry, emotional or crying like a child as I was also trying to understand what was happening around me. There were moments where it was so surreal, almost unbelievable and hard to accept and that’s when denial, numbness even going into shock comes as a gift to help you cope.

There are things we probably will never forget, yet this could be the moment where everything changes you.  I had one of those moments that changed me and at the same time inspired me.  After two days of sleeping outside, filled with frozen fear waiting for the next tremor to come, this elderly women near me collapsed.  She laid there breathless, exposed as her sari went up during her fall.  A man came along with a camera to take a picture, I was so angry and pushed him away.  I quickly covered her up with her sari, took her shall and covered her legs for she was so vulnerable.  Others were checking her pulse, splashing her with water but you could see she just wanted out.  That’s when I put my hands on her legs, started praying and asking God to be merciful, to bring her home for this was too much to bare.  I gave her all the love I could muster and when they finally lifted her lifeless body, I knew she was gone.  During that time I was numb, for I responded out of impulse.

Every experience we go through is filtered through a series of perception.  As we move through our experience, we tend to categorize it and add an emotion of good or bad depending how we are triggered by it.  This of course determines the outcome.

As I watched them take her away, this overwhelming feeling came over me and I sat there helpless in the middle of nowhere and cried uncontrollably from deep within my heart.  I surrendered to my fear and released all the emotions I was holding on to.  In the end, she was the gift, the gift of life, the gift of inspiration, the gift of hope but mostly the gift of love.  It took me some time to realise the  space I had created within me and the love that was waiting there to be placed in service.  Once we understand that life is so precious, we will see the sacredness in all things.

 “The Awakened Heart”

A couple weeks later, I was walking around the temples, the very place I almost lost my life and sat there asking God” Why was I saved? Why did I come here?  What is my purpose here? Please show it to me, bring me clarity so I can continue my journey in service.  Within a couple of days it was clear to me, I no longer had doubt for I knew I was met to be here and my purpose was to help those in need.

When you are familiar with your unconditional self and not limited by circumstances, you will see everything as perfect. 

When I look back on the elderly women who laid there exposed, part naked and vulnerable, it made me reflect.  We come naked, hiding from nothing!!   Why not live with this intention, without any mask , for we are always hiding who we really are.  Eventually, we remain unknown to ourself. We must gain insight to our own nature in order to understand our own existence through self observation. This of course is an on-going path process that eventually leads to freedom. “Dhamma” is the practice of a daily devotion to oneself, to connect, to go within and discover the true gifts that are waiting to be discovered within you through self observation.

So what does living naked mean?  It means living authentically, without hiding who you really are, what a gift this would be, not only to yourself but to others.

When we practice mindfulness and deepen our awareness, we will move beyond our limited way of thinking into an openness of new ideas, a different perspective with a transformed energy and outcome.  Then and only then, do we live fully in the moment with every breath of our being.  When we know who we are, we are ultimately more content and from this place, each breath brings you peace, joy and happiness.

With time, I realized everything changed yet I couldn’t pin point what that change was, I just knew I was different.  I had to find my own rhythm, my own path that would bring meaningful experiences. It was at this time when I became aware that I no longer needed or depended on others for validation or acceptance.  To me, finding our true path is one that helps you actualize your inner, enlighten qualities that each and everyone one of us have.

Spiritual journey enables us to discover the true essence of our being.  It is not what you do that matters; it is how genuine you do it.  When we are sincere, our path will reflect this. 

This journey has made me realize the true value of my life. By choosing a simple life, I followed a path that allowed me to explore who I thought I was and found who I truly am. It gave me opportunities to test my own limitations, for we become bound by our thoughts and emotions and rely on external happiness, approval and acceptance which make us dependent on our surroundings.

We gain strength by confronting ourself, by looking within to see what is hidden.  Nepal gave me many opportunities to test my limitations, my boundaries, my weakness, my strength, my fears, to embrace my shadow, and each time made me more self realized.

Living a simple life helped me see so many things.  In the end, how much do we really need? I became more comfortable with less and the more we let go of attachments to material things, the more we become free and are less bothered by trivial matters.

My grandmother used to say” one day at a time” giving ourself time to breath and appreciate life. When you are living simply, there is more space to ask “Why am I here?  What I’m I met to do with my life?  What is my purpose? Is what I am doing valuable and meaningful?  How am I contributing? These are all questions I often asked myself which guided me on my path and most importantly kept me more authentic.

Eventually, the environment started to bother me.  I was becoming more tired and noticed I was losing my enthusiasm. I was starting to react to things versus responding and I decided to take some time to step back in order to observe. My favorite thing to do was walk among the temple and do a puja, there I would sit and pray, ask for guidance if I needed it or maybe this was a time to reflect. That’s when I realized, I was no longer being authentic and it was time for me to go.

When our activities and actions are not with the purest intention, we lose enthusiasm and interest no matter how great it seems and we end up with disappointments because we are now attached to the outcome. When it doesn’t come from a pure heart, we limit our potential and stunt our growth. When our motives are pure, we can accomplish everything so easily and effortlessly.  But when we lack aspiration from a compassionate heart, we will not achieve anything worthwhile in our journey. Being in service with love will bring such joy and each breath will feel like a gift.

When we travel or walk this earth mindfully, we truly experience our world as a sacred place.   We are all on a lifelong journey to discover the heart of our true essence, for the purpose of living is to reach our fullest potentials.   When we remain completely present in the moment with awareness, then things will unravel naturally. I had to learn to accept and embrace things as they are.  See life just as it is, not trying to judge it, categorize it, or change it.   Being open to the joy of life as well as the sadness, all of it has a purpose. I had to stay open to everything it had to offer me.

I learned that living fearlessly is not about denying ourselves, it’s about living honestly, in the moment, not hiding from who we are.  It’s being fully awake, fully in the present moment a breath at a time for we are in a continuous process of BECOMING.

With endless gratitude for all your prayers, support and love.  When I had doubt, it brought me hope. When I was overwhelmed, it brought me courage and strength.  When I felt alone and scared,   it brought me comfort. A special thank you to my dog angel, who was my companion at a time when I needed one.  I learned that dog spelled backwards met God, knowing that, it brought peace into a chaotic environment.

Nepal – Completing my Mission

Dear friends,

It’s been quite some time since I updated you with a post and it seems that now is the perfect time. The pass three months I’ve been involved in many projects that kept me busy however very rewarding.  In my last project, I was in a remote village called Nalang and while taken some pictures damaged my iPad.   In the process loss all my stored information including all my pictures.  This of course brought tremendous sadness and yet within a few days I realized all of my experiences and memories will always be in my heart.

Once I returned to India, I was able to get it restored and found some pictures that I sent in emails.  So nothing is really loss, everything came together the way it should and of course all in God’s timing!!

Towards the end of May, I had an opportunity to go to Barpak, a  tiny villages clinging to the remote mountainsides of Gorkha District.  This was the area were the earthquake started which left so much devastation.  However, the death toll in many villages was far lower than feared, since many villagers were working outdoors when the quake struck at midday.  The children were also playing outside and not in the schools which was a blessings since all the schools was destroyed.

                    

Myself and two brothers made our way to the village and arrived after 12hrs of travelling on treacherous roads in a huge truck.  It took three transfers before the final arrival.  We brought rice, dale, sugar, oil, te biscuits, tarps. medicine, blankets, cloths, and lots of books, crayons, crafts things for the kids that also included candies.
Once we arrived, this is what we saw. I stayed for two weeks and came back with one brother, while the other continued his journey to help his grand parents.

             

One of the things that I heard from most of the villagers is how happy they were to be reunited with family.  Most of the families now all live together, supporting one another.  Here four families came together, twenty five people living in one area as a family.   Amazing!!

Here three families came together under this small temporary shelter.  To them it doesn’t matter how small or clutter it is, what matters is the family, they are all together now.  Knowing everyone is safe brings much comfort.

While the man cleaned up the area, worked daily to restore what was useful to build temporary shelters, it was obvious my contribution to the village was the children.  I started with 5 kids in the beginning, just coloring with them, singing and teaching them English.  This of course spread among the village very quickly and each day more kids came and eventually I was with 55 kids.  Daily, we read, played games, colored, did crafts, laughed so much.

Parents and grandparents started dropping off their kids before going to the fields and the children and I had so much fun.  Keep in mind, I didn’t speak Nepali and they didn’t speak English but with kids, it doesn’t matter, we found a way and it was wonderful.  Each day I learned a new Nepali work and they English, I was so grateful for this opportunity and the gift of LOVE from all of us.

       

♥

In June we were approached by a family for some help.  Their daughter suffer from kidney failure, undergoes dialysis daily and due to the earthquake now lives under a tarp near polluted water which is so dangerous for her condition.  We visited the family and decided we could help the.

       

 

Above is her home.  We eventually got a a good tent for her family and built a toilet in a safe environment.  A close friend who worked in a clinic, had contacts with many wonderful Dr.’s and through her contacts we were able to get a free bed in the hospital and a free kidney transplant operation.  Her mother will be the donor.   We were able to get her sister a job and this will help the family meets some of their needs.  Our donation helped her get daily dialysis she required to survive.

♥

The next project touched me on a personal level.  Between Nepal and China, there is a beautiful village that was completely destroyed due to an avalanche caused by the earthquake.  The road to china is still closed and will take time to clean and re-open.

The people from this village had to come down to safety.  Now imagine, some of them have never been in cities, this would be the first time to Kathmandu. It was very hard to find land for them, since most was taken by refugee camp, however, these people had two chicken coup on this small land and gave it to them to use at a minimal fee which is covered by donors.

When I arrived, I was really taken by the whole situation for this consisted of 400 people, 200 were children.   They cleaned up the chicken coop and moved in, this became their home.  I was amazed how cleaned it was and how organized each section was.  This consisted of four cast, each area had their section, along with a toilet. I brought the usual rice, dale, sugar, oil. medicine, tarp and blankets for the families.

   

 

A little nursery school was created for the kids and the older kids were all placed in local schools.

Seven women were pregnant, one just had a baby and two were to give birth within a couple of weeks.  This of course caused a little stress since they were not prepared and had nothing to welcome their babies.  I gathered the women and

  

I really wanted to do something for the moms, so I put together little bundles of joy for them so they can feel ready and welcome their new baby with love. They were so happy, I had tears of joy.

      

♥

Nepal had a huge music fest, an all day event with over 20 bands.  All the money was going towards Earthquake relief, this was an amazing event.  Let’s just say I survived!!

  

The music was amazing, they played all the
music I grew up on.  OK, so now you know my age!!  Led Zeplan, Pink Floyed, Supertramp, John Lennon, mostly English songs.  It was a wonderful way to release tension, emotions from all my experiences and be in total joy.  All of us needed that release and experience fun, after surviving such devastation and chaos that left you also shaken.  After awhile you get empty, its important to take a break and refill yourself with joy, laughter and pure fun without worry.  It reminded me that I had a life, I also needed to enjoy it!!

♥

After the concert, I took a few weeks off.  I rested, mediated, waled around the temples, and reconnected with just Being. When I became ready to do another project, I really wanted something that was creative, fun for I needed a break from seeing devastation.

So I did my usual thing, went for a walk to the temples and did a puja and asked Spirit to bring me something fun, creative that I can really enjoy and let it go!!  A few days later, I was walking in the area and saw a crowed lined up and that’s when I noticed “Curry Without Worry”, a program to feed the homeless, how perfect!!

      

   

       

I learned how to make pouri, masala and had a chance to go this huge market to get all we need. We feed 300-350 people every Tuesday evening.  We spent the day preparing and we would go near the temples I walked to set up our kitchen. I did this for two months, eventually when people saw me on the street, they would say ” Namaste, “Curry Without Worry” and give me this huge hug. Everything that we do in love comes back 10 times more, it could be as simple as a hug. Only God knows how much I need hugs ……

  

The founder who is playing the drum was a local, he has been doing this for 10 years.  Every Saturday, we would go to a local temple and clean the area, giving the message by action only how important to keep the temples clean.  Eventually people did get the message and the area became cleaner.

♥

Eventually the camp called me back and asked if I could help another refugee camp in a different location. Of course, I said yes.  By then, I had run out of funds but amazingly had met Bonsai who had funds left and was looking for a project.  Its always amazing how the Universe has a bigger plan and will bring the right people together to bring the people, an environment, a situation everything it needs to survive.

         

We brought rice, dale, tea, sugar, oil, toothpaste, tooth brush, hand and dish soap, dry noodles, biscuits and of course, crayons, books, pencils and coloring books for the kids. We looked after 52 families in this area.  Once we set up 52 families with all their stuff, they came in one at a time to pick it up and this gave us an opportunity to personally connect with them.  Again, another moment that leaves you so breathless, filled with humbleness and joy.

In the end, the village gave us a white scarf which is a very honoring thing to receive.

♥

My last project in Nepal was the “Toilet project”.  I was approached by a local for help in their village.  This village had 37 families and needed toilets and water dispensers since the water was contaminated and left them with diarrhea.  I managed to get 72 donated water dispensers that filtered the water and enough for each family to receive one from a guy named Angel.  Can you believe it!!  Honestly, God was working on my side through each projects, challenges and opportunities.

   

Bonsai donated enough money to purchase 6 toilets that would also consist of walls, septic tank and all the pipes needed to make this happen.  The engineers came with us to the village to install the first one and the village was responsible to do the rest.

                   

After this project, I rested and took time for myself.  I knew it was time for me to pull out and hand over the lead to someone else.  I was ready to go back to India and continue my journey.  This is when I applied for my Visa and was granted another three months to India, the mother land.

Below is a beautiful message I saw when riding on a bike.  A great sigh and reflection of the Nepali people whom I found so dear, strong, tremendous endurance, so adaptable, kind hearted, and the poorest of the poorest always willing to give you what ever they have left me so humbled and at times with no words as tears would fall down my chick.

Nepal continues to experience earthquake, after shocks that I know personally will take a long time to overcome.  But we must all go on, life is waiting for us..

♥

I am currently in Kasiadih, India, a small Indigenous village with Santhal people.  I am staying with three nuns who have devoted their life to missionary and have taken me in for mentoring.  How wonderful and lucky I am.

With endless Gratitude to those who donated, it supported many of the projects I was involved in.  As Brenda McRow would say, my Heart Bows Down to YOU!!