As many of you know by now, we have experienced a second trimmer in Nepal. I thought living through one in this life time was amazing but never thought I would go through two of them in such a short time.
Fortunately, yesterday was a rest day for us and at the time of the trimmer, we were seating in the lobby and quickly moved under the safety beam until everything stopped shaking. Then we ran out to the Darby Square to meet everyone else there, just like we did the first time around.
I recognized similar faces that I connected with from my previous experience and an immediate comfort came over when we made eye contact.
To be honest, I was scared just like everyone else and when I arrived at the open square, I also started crying in dis-belief that we were going through this again. I only started sleeping comfortably the pass week without my cloths or shoes on and now I’m back to sleeping with all my gear just in case!!! I was worried not having my passport on me and when things settled, I went back in to get that, flashlight, water, granola bars, candies and an extra shirt. It’s amazing how quickly we go back into survival mode or is it because we were never completely relaxed, there was always this nervousness that made you be more alert then usual.
Will this ever change or will we now encompass this reaction into our consciousness and this becomes the new way of being???
This is all new to me, to many of us even the Nepali people have not experienced such devastation in one life time. Some have experienced very light trimmers but most of the stories come from the elders. I guess it leaves me with many stories to share with my grandkids but what is different is the pure fact that something like this does not happen in Canada, a country that seems to be so safe or is it??
It doesn’t take a sciencist to see that something is changing our climate, our weather and the glaciers. Could it be the ozone, the green belt like they say or maybe something deeper that we are not aware of yet? Just the thought of it makes me feel vulnerable!! After a trimmer, you could feel the earth also known as Gaia gently move, it’s very suttle. Even today, the day after, she has not settled yet, there’s a sense of restlessness and when I’m still I can feel her which reflects what is happening inside me.
No one knows what the future holds but this experience forces you to be in the moment. How we respond is the key to not only survive but to process this whole experience. We don’t have to be heroes but many are doing heroic things from a pure impulse to save humanity. Sometimes it brings part of ourself out such as courage and strength in a profound way in which we never knew we had.
They say we grow the most through pain, loss and devastation but how much does one need to go through to grow? Although the human spirit is stronger than we realize, I also wonder how far can we be pushed before we breakdown? Would we recognize the difference?
As I continue my journey here in Nepal, I often find myself reflecting. Maybe this is what happens when your own mortality is threaten, you start to question things and wonder about life? Am I in the right place? I’m I doing what makes me happy? Do I live a life that expresses who I truly am? Do I even know who I am to begin with and what moves me in a certain direction when I’m in discernment? Again, all things that come up or reflect when we are tested beyond our understanding. Maybe this is exactly what was needed to move me on the path that has been calling me for a long time, only time will tell.
One thing is for sure, I will stay as long as it is safe for me to continue my journey here in Nepal. Eventually, I will need to leave to continue my mission in India. But I know already, it will be very hard for me to leave a country that has fully embraced me, has open their heart to me and let me into a deep place that has not only touched me but transformed me into a more compassionate, loving human being.
The gifts are endless and will continue to unfold and show itself to me in my life time.
In the meantime, we will continue to help and do our very best in supporting those in need. Below is two villages we supported and saw the last couple of days.
The first village below was the first to receive electricity in Nepal. It was over 100 years old with full of history.
Over ninety percent of the village is gone now, leaving many homeless.
Watching this little angel filled me up with deep emotions
This town had no water, the French military from France was there to distribute water and we were able to help them. It was hard to see all the people running togethe truck to get their portion which was 2 per person only
I was invited to someone’s home and was honoured to go. I had to walk through debris, walk through a field that was growing beans to arrive at a hello tarp. She had a bed for her and her husband and one for her two boys. A small table with two pots to make dinner. It was a profound experience that left me emotional.
This women was in shock, sat there just starring at her house that was totally crumbled. She was in total despair and in numbness. I sat beside her and we both sat and looked at the house together. Again, emotions came over me and I struggled to keep inside. There was no need for words, the shared silence spoke profoundly.
I had the opportunity to go by bike to drop of some tarps to a village close by and at the same time I was able to walk around and identify the need for some families. We will be helping them by bringing food and more shelter.
As you can see from above, it will take time to rebuild the village but hopefully by working together, we can rebuild the community.
The journey through India 